1.11.2010

Self-care and Why I left Facebook

So I made 2 lists.

1. Reasons to quit Facebook
2. Reasons not to quit Facebook

The first list was 3x as long as the second. And the reasons were convincing. Facebook is a big, huge vacuum-esk time-sucker. The minutes and hours seem to just vanish with little to nothing to show for it.

A close friend of mine just wrote a blog praising social media and the wonderful things it has done for her - both personally and professionally. I love that she has had that experience!

I certainly have not. I find myself learning things about people that I never cared to know really. I also find that I spend some part of my day thinking about how I would phrase it on FB. Come on! That is just ridiculous. I want to use that part of my day thinking about how I might reach out to a neighbor or how I might be a better friend/mom/wife. I also feel unsure about safety. I try to keep my profile and information private but never feel confident about that.

I don't have any problem with FB as a program/idea. I think it is a great way to keep in touch and share pictures and also find encouragement. It just turns out that, for me, this was not happening. I found myself commenting on others and then feeling bad - like what I wanted to say didn't come across and I sounded mean. At least in email you can have a personal one-on-one conversation, not just spit out comment phlegm on a whim. I found myself feeling down and discouraged after my time on the computer. I get worn out and lonely reading about everyone else. I'm not sure why I'm that way and I don't know that anyone else experiences that. I also ended up cruising through photo albums of friends of my friends. That seems like a huge waste - I don't even know these people and yet I am looking at pictures of their dog and their birthday party. Strange.

So, I'll miss my true friends on FB, I'll miss the family and their posts the most but I won't miss the time wasted on my computer, the constant distraction from my kids, and the almost insatiable curiosity to check and see what my "friends" are up to now, 15 minutes after the last time I checked!

I'm feeling better already.
Free.
Unchained.

Taking care of myself.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I haven't joined face book for the reason you mentioned plus more. Others are trying to get me to join - but I am worried that it will leave me empty - with hours gone and nothing to show for myself. Thanks for your feedback. I am sure I would have the same experience as you.

:) EL

Cuppa Jo said...

Angie, thank for sharing. While FB has been great for me, especially as a means of meeting up with old friends and quickly connecting with many since our move, I can see how it can add to the feelings and thoughts and inactivity that you shared so well in this post.

George has actually taken leave, as FB added to his anxiety.

I do a ton of Mary Kay business online, and recently, via FB, so for me it has proven to be a good thing. I also love a rousing debate in the middle of the day, usually during Dinosaur Train - like now.

Way to read yourself and know what good self-care is and means for you.

I'll miss you there, but I'll see you here, as I read all your updates.



BTW, Shall We Dance (the REAL one - the Japanese one) is fantastic!

Angie said...

Thanks for the support gals! I think FB is just not the right thing for certain kinds of people.

It added to my anxiety level too.

Maybe it means I'll update my blog more!

Karen said...

I hear you. FB is a vacuum for me and I've been limiting my time myself. I think there are SO many other great, useful things that I could spend my time doing instead of sitting on FB. :) I too - hope that I'll be on FB less and blogging more :)
Blessings to you!

Uncle Lee said...

Amen! I left facebook after about 2 days as an utter waste of time. Then I came back to see what my grandkids are up to. My FB homepage is empty, and I very seldom comment.

And twitter should be called fritter as "fritter away your time". I have never joined it and never will. What's more, my cell phone is a phone only, with texting not allowed.

For I am a true computer person! Big computers, that take up whole rooms! Retired of course. I laugh when I think of how we ran all the company's business on two computers: one with 8K (yes K) bytes of memory. Our big computer had 80K. Heaven help us!