It's not about me

Ok - so still working on that good old fear of failure.

But, I'm seeing huge progress! I am being bold and finding a passion for what I'm doing.

I started working for Beachbody so that when someone decides they want to make changes in either their physical self or their nutrition, I have the tools and resources to help them.  I help them find the right exercise program (there are over 20 to choose from!), stick to a healthy eating plan and support them along the way.  I get a small commission off of any programs or supplements they buy, but that's it.  

I am challenged to really encourage others to take control of their life in a very tangible way and in turn help them focus on spiritual things with a more clear mind.  It is very hard to live your life with love and compassion when you don't even like yourself or what you see in the mirror every day.

I am loving seeing my current clients feel better, happier and more successful every day!

Yesterday my new client said - "had my shake, did my workout and feeling great!"  Day 1 of her new program and I'm so excited for her.

My other client has been working through her program for 1 month already.  She's so excited that she can feel herself getting stronger and sees improvement as she nails a workout she struggled with just a few weeks earlier.

Don't let your fear of failure stop you from trying something bold to change your life!

Commit to something small.  The brand new workout program from Beachbody is called "21 Day Fix".  This is a program that will give you results in just 3 weeks.  Try it out!  Or go for a more focused core workout to enhance your whole life.  You will find that it's not as hard as you think.  That you can find 30 minutes at least to devote to exercise.  

You are SO worth it!  

Comment below with "Tell me more!" if you want to join me!

Mentorship

As I begin a new business venture, I have found once again that a mentor is vital.  I am so thankful for the many mentors I've had over the years.

It all started with my parents.  I found endless advice in my Mom and then a generous listening ear in my Dad.  They each gave me different types of mentorship and I learned to value and use both in my own life.

In college I had an internship at my Dad's office and I learned to listen to those older and wiser but to not be afraid to contribute my own ideas.  I am so thankful that I was treated like a smart individual.  I also learned that I was often wrong and needed to ask more questions in order to learn.

Later in life I struggled to find good mentors.  I had bosses who were distant or quick to tell me how to do everything - leaving me no input and a feeling of no value as well.

More recently I have experienced a great mix of people as mentors in my life.  I learned how to build relationships intentionally at our church and I enjoyed the mentorship of Wes, Amber, and Ashley in the Children's ministry.  I considered myself shy, introverted and unable to reach out and they taught me through encouragement and grace that I could be more than that.  I learned to push myself and to let the fear go - what's the worst thing that would happen?  A smile and an interest in someone's life is never a bad plan.

Molly, me and Becky.
Wonderful times at Weaving Influence!

I also grew through my most recent job.  My boss, Becky, was humble, gracious and kind but never failed to challenge me to work hard and produce results.  Her confidence in my skills and abilities translated into my own confidence, which was seriously lacking.  What a gift that was!

And now, as I start a new business venture, one where I am my own boss and try to help and mentor others, I am finding a personal mentor is vital.  This is someone to calm my newbie fears, push me a bit and also provide structure.  Joline has been a friend and someone I admired for so long, I'm so thankful to have her in this new role.

I find myself at 36 years old, happier to give than to receive and wanting to help others more than ever.

A long journey comes to a close

Every post needs a picture, right?

We moved to Chicago nearly 9 years ago for Matt to start Graduate school.  Just getting to that point was a long journey.  First he had to finish his undergraduate degree which he had given up many years prior.

Those years included a master degree, a 3rd child, a move to Colorado and then a move back to Chicago, daily trips to the coffee shop to write before starting his real job, several weekends away to write, 2 (or was it 3) week long "boot camps" and a complete restart on the dissertation after 2 years of writing.  Now we are nearing the end.  Graduation is in May and the dissertation defense is next month.

We can't wait to see what God has in store for us next.

For those of you who asked what Matt's dissertation was about:

"The focus of this dissertation is a theory, typically offered in a religious context, that certain propositions can be held (and in some cases ought or even must be held) by faith without regard for evidence."

I love how God turned a scary thing like philosophy (which many Christians never recover from) to work for His glory.

Half Marathon Synopsis

Last Sunday I rolled out of bed at 4 am.  I hadn't slept well, I was dreaming of running and getting lost and who knows what else.  I was kindof relieved to be getting up and finally accomplishing my goal of running the Chicago Half Marathon.

It was great weather, a bit overcast, 60ish degrees and well - dark to begin with.  We carpooled to the race to get good parking and arrived around 5:15.  By 6:30 we were ready to go.  We had all used the bathroom several times (you should have seen the number of port-a-johns!), checked our gear and were standing just feet from the start line.  Okay - more like the start block.  I have never seen anything like it.

They set up the start line in lettered segments they call corrals.  You have a letter on your bib that matches where you should start.  The idea is that the slower people start later than the faster people.  So, we gathered into a corral (you can actually start anywhere - they don't check) and readied ourselves. 

I was running with three of my Team Rise training buddies.  This was awesome.  It really helps the nerves you feel standing in the midst of 12K + runners to have three friends to stand there with you.  Two of them had done this before which was even better.

Jenny, Kathy and I

10 minutes later we reached the actual start of the race.  With all the electronics and interference, I quickly realized that my Pandora and Runkeeper apps were useless.  Oh well.  I did have some music on my iPhone but I hadn't really checked to see what.  I ended up listening to Old 97's, Prayer Chain and Norah Jones.  Not exactly running music, but it did keep me calm.

The race went well.  We ran hard, laughed a lot and I stared wide-eyed at the craziness of it all.  We ran shoulder to shoulder, dodging other racers for the first 3 miles.  We all agreed that this was good distraction.  One of the gals kept close track of the time and we found that we were ahead of our pace quite a bit.  A good way to start!

As we headed into mile 5, one of my running buddies decided to actually run now.  That was the last I saw of her until the end.  She is nearly 10 yrs older than me and is an amazing athlete!  Kathy, Christine and I stuck together nearly to the end.  We kept each other going, we talked when we needed distraction, we kept quiet when we were too tired to breathe.  I was amazed at how much their support carried me through.  

I was so happy to see Anna (and family) at mile 10!

The last mile was tough.  Kathy sped up to try to beat her goal.  Christine and I stuck together until she sped ahead.  I just tried to keep upright.  

With a finish time of 2:08, I ended up ahead of my best ever pace and loved every minute of it!  Best of all, I was able to raise well beyond my goal of $2000 and really make a difference for Angola!  

I'm happy to let you know that someone has offered to match every donation from now until the Chicago Marathon up to $50,000!  Please donate now if you haven't yet.  It'll go twice as far!

Go Team Rise!  We still have a large team running the Chicago Marathon on October 7th!  

I made it!  

Changed

I've always lived with this knowledge that I am flawed.  I hear these phrases in my head,

"You're just like your mom."
"You're too shy."
"You need to listen more."
"Don't speak your mind so much."

Some of the words are true - perhaps all of them are true - but they are not helpful.  I have found them so loud in my head that they completely paralyze me.  And on the really bad days, they generally spiral down to even worse, completely untrue statements of failure, despair and shame.

About a year ago I was so burdened by it all that I decided to go for some counseling.  My mother is a trained counselor and I grew up going to counseling throughout high school.  I know that when it is all more than you can handle, you get help.

I found a great counselor and began a process.  I discovered where those phrases came from - the root of the downward spiral I so often slide down.  It was dramatic and powerful when I decided to stop blaming and pitying and just love myself.

At the same time as the counseling I read an amazing book about self confidence.  At the time, I was so embarrassed to be reading a book about self esteem, that I didn't check it out from the library - I just sat and read it in the corner.  All in one sitting.

As I typed the list in the beginning, I automatically typed the next four phrases.


"Grow."
"Be."
"Do more."
"Give more, take less."

This is the new end of my spiral.  At first I had to work very purposefully to think those thoughts.  I didn't want to.  Honestly, it was hard.

But, over time I have been able to add even more.  Thoughts I never thought I'd be able to think on my own.

"You are a good friend."
"You encourage others."
"You show love and kindness to those around you, regardless of status."
"You are worthy."

Those words come from God.  Those words are only true because of His work, His sacrifice and His gift.  He is the true transformer of my life.  Without Him I am nothing.

Going to keep running

So, the time has come.

Yep - got this beautiful couple at the store yesterday.  They are so gob-smacking beautiful I almost don't want to wear them.  Except, I do and I will.  ASAP!

I went to a real running store (the clerks wear running clothes instead of suits) and got some actual potentially expert advice.  It was like going to a spa after only having gone to Great Clips your whole life.  I felt pampered, appreciated and loved.  I'm totally taking my kids there to get their school shoes.  They better appreciate the cost of all that lovin'.

If you care, the shoes are Brooks Ghost 5.  I wear orthotic inserts (thanks to my parents for the genes) and needed shoes with some stability but not too much.  I've been having some significant foot pain the last few weeks after my runs, so I'm hoping this helps.

I also bought some much needed new socks and they are so beautiful I almost took a picture of my feet.  I told Matt that my feet (size 9!) actually looked cute with these socks.  Note: running socks are not cheap so it helps if they are cute.

Wish me luck!

PS - you can totally support my run here.

Welcome to America, Part 2

This is the second of 3 parts of this story that I will be sharing here on my blog. Please read the first part of the story for better understanding.

It has been a few months since we first met Suan and his wife. Our first visit, the day they arrived from Malaysia, was the day we delivered the welcome pack. With several other Zomi refugees in attendance, as well as a staff member from Exodus World Services (EWS), we opened boxes, made beds, stocked the kitchen, and furnished the small studio apartment. Suan struggled to understand what was happening. Our daughters, while anxious to help, also struggled to understand. At four, eight, and ten, our girls had never before spent a moment of their lives in an environment where English was not the dominant language. Their exposure to non-Americans was scant. And here we stood in a cramped apartment with a dozen other people, struggling to communicate what shaving cream was for or inquiring where they would like their toolset to be.

I would like to say that that first day was an amazing, spirit-filling experience. But I would be remiss if I did not state how difficult those first hours were. Had our EWS friend not taken the initiative to schedule our next visit, I sometimes wonder if I would have just let things go.

But our second trip went better. It was on that trip that we made pancakes. And the third was even better. As we met other Zomi refugees and they became part of our lives, we realized that we had become something like an extension to their urban village. We were, in many ways, the outsiders hoping to be accepted, hoping to understand what was happening.

Suan, it turns out, has a gift for music. He was known in the Malaysian refugee community for his singing, and he is now the worship leader in the small Zomi church that meets in Rogers Park. Our first visit to that church marks a moment in my life that I will never forget.


Follow along with Part 3.

This is a guest post from my husband, Matt.  Matt is a software developer with an amazing gift for writing. His passions include theology, philosophy, grilling and reading. He wrote this story as a way to share our recent experiences with refugees and the organization that connected us with them. This is the second of 3 parts I will be sharing here on my blog. (We have changed some names for privacy.)

Only the good? (Thankful Five)

Here sits a nice happy, family blog.  I struggle with posting either only the good in our life, or keeping it real with a bit of the bad.  I also struggle with only wanting to write about the bad (possible venting) and just put up pictures of the good.  Pictures speak for themselves right?  I don't want a picture of tears and fighting.  But, a picture of hugs, laughing and good experiences is awesome!

So - today is a non-picture taking kind of day.  The camera is tucked safely away, possibly it will come out for tomorrow's holiday.  If we can drag ourselves out of the nice A.C. to the suffocating heat, that is.

I think I'd better take some advice from my new friend and co-worker, Carrie (check her out here!).  Let's see what I am thankful for.

1. A house large enough to find an escape when it's all just too much.
2. A husband who wakes up when I can't sleep and scratches my back to help me settle in.
3. The makings for a really good sandwich just happening to be in my fridge.
4. An upcoming trip for my 10 year old and lots of family to show her love.
5. A very healthy family at the moment.

Ah - I feel a little better.  Okay - I feel a lot better.  I think that is a practice I need to do a little more often.  I'd love to hear what you are thankful for too!

(Happy thoughts mean...  yep, a picture!)

Last week we visited our favorite Chicago beach.

Running is not my piece of cake.

Running a half marathon is not a piece of cake for me.

How I wish running was this easy.

I feel like it should be easy.  I tend to compare myself to people who have been running miles since they were toddlers and I feel kind of pathetic.

I must battle this - I try to remember that those people are just more obvious because we see them out running all the time.  The rest of us "normal" humans are enjoying hamburgers, french fries and probably too much TV.  We watch people push themselves to their limits and cheer them on from afar.  We don't enter into their crazy world.  We don't really think of trying to push ourselves.  I didn't see any point to it all.

Oh, yes, there is the reward of personal accomplishment.  But I personally don't find that motivational.  I could choose much easier and less tiring ways to succeed.  I could be an expert knitter, an amazing gardener, even being a great cook wouldn't require so much sweat and exhaustion.

So, I have chosen to run for someone else.  To push myself for someone else entirely.  I expect no reward and will really marvel in my success (if I make it!).  I'm running for kids who can't go to school and for an organization that has a proven success rate in building schools for others.  It sounds lame to say I'm running for Africa (at least to me) but it's true.  I'm running for a village and a group of families.  Really, to keep it real for me, I think about the mothers of these kids.  I'm a mother and I so value education for my girls.  I cannot imagine if that was not an option.

I want that to be an option for all kids and a chance for whole communities to push out of their current situation.

Running update:

Currently I have just finished a 6.2 mile run - I'm almost halfway!  I can hardly believe it.  I couldn't run without my team and I look forward to every Saturday morning and our runs together.  I'm also running 3 days a week - varying distances.

Fundraising update:

I am 70% of the way to my goal for this September 9th run!!!  I would be thrilled to blow my initial goal out of the water.  How much is possible for one inexperienced, non-runner, mother of 3, drive everywhere, city girl to raise?!


Join me now!