Tween Room Transformation

There are just 4 short months until my 12 year old turns 13.

Interestingly, when she started 6th grade we began to notice huge changes in her room.  She took everything she didn't care for anymore and placed it in her closet with a huge sign draped across that said "Pre-6th grade".  I didn't have permission to throw anything away so it all stayed there.

I avoided her room and I waited.  I waited the whole school year until the middle of the summer.

We spent 2 weeks this month sorting through all those MANY items.  We sorted into keep, throw away, put away and give to my younger sisters.

Then she left for camp and the real work began.  I worked on the painting and accessory purchasing for several days and then called in my good friend Kayla to help me arrange the furniture and hang things on the wall.  This is the friend whom my daughter has asked to call Aunt Kayla because she loves her so much - so her helping was very touching for my girl.

Here is her room before the big changes but after some decluttering.  She decorated the wall and I think she did a great job, it just needed some updating and sophistication.  In this room, the color was very dark (we didn't choose it) and the bed was impossibly big for her smallish room.

And here is the before of the closet side of the room.  Cluttered, full of things she wants but can't really get to.

And TADA!  This room now truly represents her and allows her creative freedom as well.  She wanted a black and white themed room so I did my best, while still leaving room for her to add colors here and there. 

 We added a desk (thrift store before and after - more photos coming soon on that) and got rid of that huge bed. Many of the other things were found at Goodwill or Ross. The matching chair will require a bit more work, so I'll just say - the fabric is chosen and purchased and sitting on the chair in the garage.

  

Did I mention I only had 4 days to get this room done?  I visited Goodwill several days in a row - plus about 3 other thrift stores in town. My budget was VERY small.

Here is a closeup of the front of her desk.  The two vases and small pitcher were from Goodwill. The mirrored tray with jewelry was also from there. The mirror on the wall I already had.  The lamp was white, I taped off a couple stripes and painted it glossy black.

The desk was originally really ugly, so I updated it.  I spray painted the top with chalkboard paint so she can write all over it.  When I asked her what her favorite part of the room was, she said the desk! I'll share next week about how I did it. 

The framed photos came out so awesome.  She loves shoes and has been wearing women's sizes for a few years now.  So these are just a great fit with her personality. Of course, I won't actually be buying her any of these shoes. I found the photos online and framed them with some thrift store frames.

I even worked on her closet in the last 30 minutes before she came home. Organizing is my gift so I figured I'd better use it! I was able to hang a special shelf from her Grandma and put several other special or necessary items that just didn't work in her room now.

We are currently using her bookshelf for her clothes.  Perhaps someday we'll find her a dresser that works, but for now this is just easier.

And one last photo - here is the difference between one coat of Valspar High Hiding Primer (on the right) and Kilz2 Primer (on the left). It took me an extra few hours to double coat 2 walls with the Kilz since I had run out of the Valspar.  I was pretty surprised at the big difference.  But, using primer was worth it - I only had to put one coat of paint in the room.

Notes:  Curtains are from Lowes - with light blocking panels behind.  Paint color is also from Lowes - Valspar. I found the exact color referenced in a Q&A about black and white rooms so I just bought it without even testing it.  It's a very mature color and has quite a bit of blue in it.  The duvet cover was found at Amazon.  I wanted a cover that would work with the room, be comfortable and not cost a fortune.

Mentorship

As I begin a new business venture, I have found once again that a mentor is vital.  I am so thankful for the many mentors I've had over the years.

It all started with my parents.  I found endless advice in my Mom and then a generous listening ear in my Dad.  They each gave me different types of mentorship and I learned to value and use both in my own life.

In college I had an internship at my Dad's office and I learned to listen to those older and wiser but to not be afraid to contribute my own ideas.  I am so thankful that I was treated like a smart individual.  I also learned that I was often wrong and needed to ask more questions in order to learn.

Later in life I struggled to find good mentors.  I had bosses who were distant or quick to tell me how to do everything - leaving me no input and a feeling of no value as well.

More recently I have experienced a great mix of people as mentors in my life.  I learned how to build relationships intentionally at our church and I enjoyed the mentorship of Wes, Amber, and Ashley in the Children's ministry.  I considered myself shy, introverted and unable to reach out and they taught me through encouragement and grace that I could be more than that.  I learned to push myself and to let the fear go - what's the worst thing that would happen?  A smile and an interest in someone's life is never a bad plan.

Molly, me and Becky.
Wonderful times at Weaving Influence!

I also grew through my most recent job.  My boss, Becky, was humble, gracious and kind but never failed to challenge me to work hard and produce results.  Her confidence in my skills and abilities translated into my own confidence, which was seriously lacking.  What a gift that was!

And now, as I start a new business venture, one where I am my own boss and try to help and mentor others, I am finding a personal mentor is vital.  This is someone to calm my newbie fears, push me a bit and also provide structure.  Joline has been a friend and someone I admired for so long, I'm so thankful to have her in this new role.

I find myself at 36 years old, happier to give than to receive and wanting to help others more than ever.

Thankful Five #5

Dark days, early sunset and late sunrise - I'm needing to force myself to make a Thankful List!  I'm not looking at my past lists - so forgive me if I repeat myself.

1.  Our children.  They give life purpose.  They help me to understand why our Savior gave up his life for us.

2.  Healing wounds.  There was a time in my life where it seemed so many of my relationships were in tatters.  I'm thankful for time and for words of forgiveness.

3.  My wonderful husband.  Matt is truly my rock.  He is patient, generous, kind and adoring.

4.  Starbucks Via.  I find a hot cup of coffee so comforting in the winter and I don't often have the energy to go out and get some.  Our coffee pot is on the fritz and I'm enjoying this instant blend.

5.  Our church.  I found myself in tears this morning as I watched our congregation pour onto the stage to donate toys and toiletries to our community.  We live in an area with so much money, power and prestige and I love that Willow Creek challenges us to give more and live on less.

Called to be a party host

We felt called.

That's a strange phrase.  It's often mentioned in spiritual circles.  I'm "called" to missions.  I'm "called" to be a parent.  I'm "called" to transfer jobs.

I'm not sure quite what it means.  Calling involves voice, sound and a request.  But, when you do feel called to do something there generally is no audio component.  It's more of a subconscious feeling.  The calling comes from someplace beyond yourself.  And the calling usually pulls you into something you wouldn't normally do.

I think in order to be called you have to be listening.  I have found myself listening more and more.  Instead of pushing that voice away, or using all my insecurities to build a wall around my internal dialogues, I have left myself open.  I'm open to any and all possibilities.  My choice has been to give over my subconscious thought life to God.  To open my heart and ears to His words.  Many prominent thought leaders and celebrities praise the value of opening up your heart and ears to your inner self.  More power to you!  You can do all things through the power of you!  Except those words are meaningless.  At the core of my being, I am imperfect.  At the core of God is perfection.  His words are worthy to be heard.

So, what does this have to do with a party?  Well, Matt & I felt called to offer our home as a meeting place for new families from our church.  Our church is large (2K people) and is a satellite church of an even larger main campus.  We found ourselves with 40 RSVPs and a party to plan.  I was honestly a bit overwhelmed and scared.  Our house is not beautiful and I am not a decorator.  I'm happy to report the party went amazingly well.  Many people really didn't know anyone at the church (even after attending a year!) and were so happy to get to know some people.  We will continue with a monthly get together at our house.  Yay!

Other areas we have stretched ourselves in (being called):

Adopting a refugee family from Burma and making weekly visits.
Helping pack hundreds of thousands of seeds for families in Africa.
Running a half marathon to benefit kids in Angola.
Presenting our refugee story in front of our church and children's ministry (upcoming!).
Making our home more open to others.
Becoming regular Sunday school teachers.
Putting our kids back in public school so they can be a light to others.
Living with less stuff.
Giving away furniture to a young refugee family from Sudan.
Keeping our eyes open to need and opportunity around us.

What are you doing with your calling?  Are you listening?

Welcome to America, Part 3

This is the third in a series of posts that I shared here on my blog. Please read the first and second parts of the story for better understanding.

A tiny population of immigrants can hardly afford a church, or even to share space with an existing church. They meet in two bedroom apartment not much bigger than Suan and Sing's. Zomi people prefer to sit on the floor or on low stools, and so the central room of the apartment is completely emptied of its daily furniture, and thirty or so Zomi sit on the floor. The children meet in an adjacent bedroom, where several mothers teach them Bible stories, songs, and verses. In the main room, we sing hymns and praise songs. The tunes are familiar, but the words are in Zolai. Then prayer requests are shared, followed by a period of congregational prayer. After that comes the sermon, and then more singing and prayer.

One of the young women in the church -- a high schooler who has been in the country for several years -- was assigned to be our interpreter. She translated prayer requests, updates on church members, song lyrics, prayers, and even the sermon. On that day, Suan was asked to deliver the sermon. She translated Suan's heart-melting story as he told the small congregation how his family had rebounded from the brink of despair in Malaysia, and how they looked with optimism toward their future here. 

The next few words from his lips caught me off guard. They needed no translation, for they were my name and Angie's. Our translator leaned over and told us that he was citing Matthew 5, "You are the salt of the earth." He used Angie and I, and the efforts of Willow Creek and Exodus, as an example of how the church can "season" the world, can bring zest and flavor. I looked over at Angie and could see tears in her eyes. We didn't know we were going to be salt. We didn't know we could be salt.

Salt is a funny thing. During certain periods of history salt was so valuable that it was used as currency (giving rise to the saying "worth his salt"). It is used as a seasoning and a preservative. That is, it has both aesthetic value and utility. Humans require salt in our diet. It's necessary for life. And yet nobody sits down to a nice big bowl of salt. We sprinkle it. We mix it. It only performs its function when it is blended with other things. 

Why did Jesus call us the salt of the world?

Suan and Sing are beginning their fourth month in Chicago. In only a few months, they have learned a surprising amount of English, and they have ventured out into the city on buses and trains. Pancakes, it turns out, have become a typical breakfast for their two children. 

Suan worked with his refugee case worker to find his first job. Hearing the other children in the building fluidly switching from the Zolai language of their parents to their newly acquired English reminds me once again how quickly children can learn, and how much hope their parents bestow upon them. 

But more than anything, being invited into this small village of refugees tucked away in an urban neighborhood on Chicago's north side, I have become acutely aware --  through their faith -- that the church, the whole church, really is the salt of the earth. Like the Zomi, spread from their home in the mountains of Burma, salt is sprinkled out, mixed into other things. 

The church can only be the hope of the world when we allow ourselves to be mixed, to be spread. Only then do we bring both the utility and the beauty of God's work to the world.

This is a guest post from my husband, Matt.  Matt is a software developer with an amazing gift for writing. His passions include theology, philosophy, grilling and reading. He wrote this story as a way to share our recent experiences with refugees and the organization that connected us with them. (We have changed some names for privacy.)

Stretching outside myself

I signed up to be a party host.

Not kidding.

BBQ at our house!  Everyone is welcome.

Well, it's not really just me - Matt's name is on there too.

Why, would we do this, you ask?  And how does one even do it?

Well, our church organizes something called "table groups".  They are monthly get togethers at someone's house.  We have gone to one for about 7 months and we love it!  It's not a "churchy" activity, just a chance to get together with other people and talk.  We are able to bring our kids and we all share a meal together.  We've had Mexican night, casserole night, breakfast for dinner night and now we are doing some grilling nights.  The people are amazing and the food is always great.

So, why would we change anything?  We have enjoyed it so much but the idea is to get to know people in your neighborhood.  This group is about 20 minutes away in our old town.  We love going over there but it seems we should probably go to one where we live.  And there weren't any openings in a group by our house.

Enter Matt & Angie opening their home to others.

Stretching on every corner of our comfort zone.  Pushing the limits of security.

I'm feeling the stretch. I think we both have this immature feeling that it won't be successful, that our group will be a dud.  It sounds lame, but I don't know if that insecure part of me has grown up yet.

I'm reading some books on being a good hostess, I'm buying some extra chairs, I'm preparing to let go a bit and allow others to feel welcome in our home.  Spill something, no problem.  Break our toys, no biggie.  Scared the cats, they're just animals.  What's the worst that can happen, really?