Butcher Bunkhouse

winter heart

2012-02-13T13:02:00.000-06:00

It's surprisingly hard to get myself motivated to write anything.

I think a lot of things but am struggling with motivation and energy.

I have been super encouraged by numerous emails and talks with friends about my struggle. God is certainly teaching me to use community better. Really all I want to do is sit in the dark. All day. I'm forcing myself out and about a little each day.

Someone told me this morning that I really need to commit to 6 months of taking this medicine. Yikes! I was going for a few months max. So, I figure I'll talk to the psychologist about that. She said she had really bad withdrawal when she went off of it. I'm terrified of that. I hate being dependent/addicted to anything. I won't even watch shows on TV for that reason. I don't want anything to control my life but me. There are probably some deeper issues there.

For now the side effects have slightly lessened. I see no mood improving effect. If anything I'm more anxious than usual.

In other news, we are struggling to keep the girls at the private school. It is a huge stretch financially which is totally worth it but really won't be possible next year. So, there is a lot of heartbreak on my side. We have only talked about it minimally with the girls. It's still a ways away. Registration for Kindergarten is this week so we had to make that decision already for KM. I know God is truly in control and will use these girls in amazing ways. I have to trust that He is bigger than peer pressure and they have to choose to follow His ways for themselves. Even more when they are not in such a protected place.

Hoping for fun tomorrow with plans for a Valentine's Day breakfast for dinner.

Monitoring myself for looniness (love that word!)

2012-02-10T09:04:00.001-06:00

Interesting to monitor my physical and emotional well being so closely.

I have found myself involuntarily clenching my jaw the last several days. I woke myself up because my jaw was so sore. I have never done this before, ever. Very strange.

I have been sleeping horribly - also hardly ever an issue for me. But, I did wake up feeling great. Until I took my medicine, then I feel like I just got a cold - tired and slow. It seems to go away around lunchtime.

I'm trying to make it for 2 weeks before I give up on this. The side effects are no fun at this point.

It's gonna be cold this weekend and super gray. Ah well.

Life is a blessing and hilarious!

2012-02-09T09:58:00.001-06:00

Our princess

Aren't they cute?

Carrying on

2012-02-09T09:45:00.001-06:00

Well here I am - Day 2. I'm trying to keep track of how I feel in order to decide if this is worth it. The best way to describe it is that I feel like I'm sick. I felt that way yesterday until I took a nap at noon. Then I felt pretty much okay. I was up for 3 hours last night, unable to sleep - but I wasn't sleeping well before I starting taking anything, so that doesn't mean much.

Today I feel sluggish since taking the meds. Yesterday my blood sugar was a mess all morning, so I'm trying to monitor that too. It's so annoying not to know if it's the medication or just me. I'm also trying to keep in mind that it'll take a few weeks for things to even out.

I'm struggling terribly with two thoughts in my head. One says, take care of yourself - don't try to do it all on your own. Ask for help, receive the help, take it easy, slow down, etc. The other voice says, stop focusing so much on yourself, the people around you need you. They need your attention, love and they need you to stop thinking so much about yourself and put their needs first. Others first, self next. This causes great anxiety and frustration for me. I feel out of control of my emotions and yet possibly if I try hard enough I really can be there for those closest to me.

I am brought to my knees. To the cross, He shall supply all my needs.

Soul Blogging

2012-02-08T08:44:00.002-06:00

I have been told that more than 2 people read this blog. I'm glad and wish I was more consistent posting here. The problem is that I don't have a good filter. A personal filter I mean. I tend to just speak anything and everything that is in my head. So, to avoid offending anyone, I have refrained from posting anything very personal. Perhaps there is a class I can take to learn how to be more guarded while still being genuine enough to be interesting.

To be honest, this time of year is super hard. Not just kind of hard but super hard. I am in a dark place. I think it is best to keep my thoughts to myself. They are not helpful for building others up in any way.

To explain, usually around the middle of January I start to feel down, a little discouraged, maybe only for a few hours a day. Then by February I am starting to notice more and more days where I "wake up on the wrong size of the bed" as they say. Yesterday I felt the worse yet. This year I've decided to take anti-depressants as an attempt to avoid destroying my dearest relationships. But, honestly, I feel like a complete failure. Like if I can't figure out how to fight it on my own then I've failed. I cried as I took the first pill today. My first anti-depressant pill ever. I watched my mother take them for years and years and vowed to never reach that point. That's the raw truth of it.

I'm working hard to reaffirm that I'm not failing, I'm actually overcoming. I'm fighting against years of irrational reasoning and doing what is best for me and those around me. I'm also in therapy so I know that this is seasonal and not related to some long buried emotional issues. (I have those too but I'm working on them already!) And of course, I am spending time in prayer and meditation. Perhaps blogging here will be good for my soul.

Blogging

2012-01-19T09:11:00.002-06:00

As I resurfaced on Facebook, I found myself less likely than ever to blog.

I don't really enjoy writing about myself turns out. I mostly want to post pictures for family.

I am noticing that I wake up in the winter as a stranger to myself. Short temper, downcast, slow, withdrawn. Still contemplating meds. This is the first real test for me. Yesterday I felt better by the end of the day. I'm hoping for the best.

If you are interested in keeping up with our family, probably best to catch me on Facebook.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-25T16:55:00.003-06:00

The cooking started here the day before Thanksgiving. All the girls helped but Annabelle eagerly helped most of the day. It was a true delight! Here Annabelle is making cranberry sauce, Claire is helping with the sweet potatoes and Katherine is getting ready to help with something else.

Happy Thanksgiving? We all worked hard to prepare our dinner.

We mentioned many times how much we wished our family was with us. We can't wait for Christmas with family!

Forest Preserve

2011-10-11T09:16:00.004-05:00

Weekend requirements of late:

1. Free

2. Fun

3. Outdoor

4. Does not induce complaining

5. Is not completely exhausting

6. Close

We can never meet all our requirements but 5 out of 6 is pretty good. Complaining seems to follow us wherever we go. But, we didn't pay much attention this time and it was quickly overcome as we observed beauty all around us.

Fall Beauty just 10 minutes from our house. Gotta love Cook County Forest Preserves.

Katherine tolerates Mommy time while actually dreaming of being with Daddy. She is often like a third leg for him. :)

We both enjoyed experiencing nature with our kiddos.

Aren't they adorable? Anna was dressed for adventure!

I would give my life for any one of these girls. Love them!

Halloween forethought

2011-10-04T14:31:00.003-05:00

As a grownup I hardly even notice that Halloween is at the end of this month. I remember about mid-October that I have some cute fall decorations that I'd like to put up. I don't plan to buy tombstones and spiders and other creepy items.

Having kids means that they start planning for Halloween on Nov 1st of the previous year. As soon as possible they begin to plan for the next year. Some kids more than others.

Annabelle decided at some point that she wanted to be a vampire. We've never encouraged her to be anything scary. We have seen some seriously disturbing costumes in the last few years and I didn't want any of our kids to get into that. But, she promises not to be too scary (she doesn't want to scare herself) and we don't want to make a big deal out of it.

Claire and I were at the thrift store this weekend and she found some very awesome, authentic and just her size cowboy boots. She decided then and there to be a cowgirl for halloween. We quickly found a hat and I just ordered her a trick lasso to complete her outfit. It will be adorable and so uniquely Claire.

Katherine is following suit for her sisters at this age. Princess. Again. She was a cow at 2 (we had a cute costume) and then a princess last year. I think Claire was a princess or fairy every year until this year actually. So, we are in it for the long haul. Princess and Fairy costumes are in abundance here. Send all your girls who love dress up to our house!

Happy Halloween Everyone.

Lovely St. Louis

2011-09-30T21:25:00.003-05:00

We recently had a rare family vacation to St. Louis. Matt was attending a conference and so the girls and I saw the sights of the city. We had a great time at St. Louis Zoo and the Arch and the Riverboat cruise.

Anna loved petting the stingrays. I tried it once and didn't want to do it again.

On the cruise...

We also went to City Museum, which is the coolest museum in the world. We only heard of it because of Matt's sister. Many years ago we took the girls there (so long they had no memory of it) and had a lot of fun. This time the girls were older and braver and the place was almost completely empty. It was amazing and definitely not a good place to get any pictures. I worried about crushing my camera while Matt and I played too!

apple picking means apple pie!

2011-09-28T11:40:00.005-05:00

So this year I faced my apples (we had 2 pecks) with eagerness and determination. I was not going to waste any apples on a bad pie filling recipe like last year. I contacted a friend who is super amazing - 9 kids, homeschools, jars anything and everything in large quantities, only spends $150/week feeding her large family and is a fount of wisdom and honesty. I asked her for her pie filling recipe - the one she makes 5,000 times the recipe and freezes it for pies all year long. Okay - maybe not 5,000 but she does make a LOT.

The process was fun since Daddy was in charge of the messy parts. I do not enjoy cooking with kids. There I said it. And I have met other Moms who feel the same way, so it's okay for me to feel that way. I do enjoy helping them pick out clothes, braiding their hair, working on puzzles, coloring, and doing other things with them. Just not things that involve sticky, messy or ovens.

Total: 4 pies. We ate one that night and froze the filling for the other three. Yum!

Apple Picking!

2011-09-28T11:32:00.005-05:00

The time came recently for our annual trip to the Apple Orchard. This year it was hot and we didn't last as long as we have before. But we enjoyed picking Gala and McIntosh apples.

she's definitely not afraid of bugs

2011-09-07T16:56:00.002-05:00

So proud.

2011-09-07T16:50:00.003-05:00

She started preschool. She is so proud of herself.

Another one rides the bike...

2011-08-30T11:37:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was the day for Claire. She was so excited! Katherine's new bike has been a good motivation for the other girls to get back on their bikes finally.

We do miss having sidewalks but are enjoying the fairly quiet, wide street to ride on. Much easier than our busy, car filled previous road.

What the littles are doing

2011-08-23T10:18:00.003-05:00

First morning on their own. A. is terrified of the cats and spends most of his time making sure they are no where near him. Katherine is enjoying being the boss of A. and teaching him how to wear heels.

They are so cute together.

First Day of School!

2011-08-23T08:22:00.003-05:00

Hurray! The girls started school today.

They are beautiful, excited and anxious. I am thrilled with how much more confident Claire is this year and how Annabelle is so beautiful and put together (she already has an abundance of confidence!).

Katherine was up just in time to say goodbye!

Birthday gifts

2011-08-14T14:42:00.001-05:00

Katherine really wanted to open her presents in the jumpolene. Very cute.

Katherine's Birthday(s)

2011-08-14T14:31:00.002-05:00

Katherine had many birthday celebrations! We started with a small party with our close friends, then some presents (and donuts) on her birthday morning, cupcakes with my Uncle and family and then a party a few days later for her and her friends. It was nice to spread the gifts out and she had a wonderful time!

Matt's mom gave us this very cool candelabra candle holder. I'm sure it'll be used for years to come.

Welcome Guests

2011-07-25T13:56:00.004-05:00

At last we were able to host some of our beloved family! We now have a guest room so we can really have some visitors! And they don't have to sleep on our couch or floor.

This time Matt's Mom & Stepdad came plus we were so thankful that his not-yet 90 Grandmother joined them! It'll tell you something about her to know that they drove out here and shopped there way here and back. She has amazing energy, several times she was still standing while I was totally wiped out.

We enjoyed Ravinia, Central St. shopping, sightseeing, barbecuing and the Botanic Gardens. It was a short visit but we sure fit a lot in!

Claire enjoyed that Grandpa likes to stay home too!

They stopped and shopped for a few days on their way. Loved the huge chair!

Botanic Gardens

Ravinia!

It was really really cold that night. The middle of July and in the low 70's with a pretty strong breeze. We were all a bit chilly.

Fourth of July Parade

2011-07-06T20:35:00.002-05:00

Summer Fun

2011-07-06T09:46:00.003-05:00

I'm so far overdue to post something about our summer!

We have been having such a great time. Enjoying our new yard and house, working on finishing a couple rooms and exploring new places.

We managed to greatly improve our porch in a matter of minutes by removing the screen door guards. It is wonderful!

Katherine with her favorite person in the entire world!

Our new street had its first ever block party. Anna enjoyed the Bike Parade and decorated her scooter for the occasion.

Summer Fun!

Our home

2011-06-01T08:57:00.005-05:00

So, the after pictures are finally here. I thought I'd wait until the house was tidy, but that is never going to happen so...

The kids are so quiet, isn't this nice?

2011-05-31T13:54:00.004-05:00

Famous last words of many parents...

We had some fabulous friends over for Memorial Day. The day was wonderful in our new house, we enjoyed the screened in porch and grilled brats and hot dogs. The kids had so much fun playing in our large yard while we enjoyed being together. The oldest said to get the camera and take a picture of them. We had no idea exactly what they were up to - up until then they had just been chasing each other around the yard.

You should know that Matt & I are not terribly good with messy. We try, but in the end we like the kids to keep the house free from mud and dirt. No sticky fingers please, etc.

But, the big smiles on their faces did soften the blow. :)

Pictures from Moving Day

2011-05-18T12:57:00.008-05:00

Yes - we made it!

There were days when I thought we'd be camping out at the storage unit with our items. Or perhaps getting all our things to the house and then making the kids move it in. But, God is so faithful and again provided the impossible. We had help to move in, happy kids and a home that was ready for us. And the kids loved helping us clear out the storage unit.

Our temporary housing hosts became as close as family to us and gave of themselves beyond what we could have ever imagined. We are so thankful for them.

Here are some pictures from moving day...

moving forward and getting slowed down

2011-05-05T13:39:00.004-05:00

The house is looking great! I've got some updated pictures. The paint is going on, the walls are being finished and we are moving in this weekend! Hooray.

A clean kitchen... Ah. I can't wait to see it in blue.

All that is done here is the chair rail and trim. I was hoping to put white trim throughout the house but we just don't have the time (or money!). This room is going to look great. It should be done today.

Claire & Katherine's room. They wanted one blue wall and the rest pink. I like the light pink they picked out. Annabelle picked the same light pink for her room.

Annabelle's room. She really wanted a day bed. Claire is a bit jealous. But, hey, bunk beds are cool too.

The slow down comes from me nearly slicing off the tip of my thumb yesterday. It made for quite a Mommy-spectacle and the girls had the adventure of going to the ER and all is well. Apparently you can superglue people just like ceramic dogs. It does mean that I cannot do a lot of lifting and moving as I had planned...

In addition, we had a death in the family and our hearts are heavy. Even though you know these things will happen there is still a mourning to experience. All your prayers are appreciated.

Why no posts?

2011-05-03T17:07:00.003-05:00

Well, the excitement may have fizzled a bit...

We are in the final stretch, the last hurrah, the end of our world as we know it, or something like that. And it is hard. We are ready to move. Our hosts are having some extended family health issues and are spending their days at the hospital. They are ready for us to go (lovingly of course). We have many many details to work out by Saturday (the day of our move). And I'm just plain sick of working out details. I would appreciate someone to whisk my children away to happy-we-love-your-whiny-kids land, get all my stuff moved out of storage and into my house quickly, cheaply and painlessly, finish all the painting in time and of course pay all my bills. But, this is not going to happen. More likely it will be a juggling game and the main performers are worn out - their arms are tired and the balls are very oddly shaped.

We are tired of asking for help. We are tired of waiting. We are tired of being patient. We are not good at hanging in there because it's almost done. We never have been - I'm seeing that now. Matt & I both like things to work out quickly with no waiting involved.

As soon as I remember to grab my camera before I leave the house for the day - I will take some pictures of the new house. The painting is coming along nicely and the final drywall was going up in the basement today. We aren't sure why, but the rooms down there are getting a nice drywall finish on the ceiling instead of the icky acoustic tiling.

Prayers are appreciated.

Easter 2011

2011-04-27T21:15:00.002-05:00

Have I mentioned we are staying at a beautiful home while we await our new house? It's more like a retreat. Today the house cleaners came. We all came home to our beds made, rooms tidied and floor sparkling. I am trying not to get too used to this. It was just lovely.

We have so enjoyed the company of our hosts. They are loving, funny and generous. It is so hard to take kindness from others. Especially when they truly ask nothing in return.

A note on Easter: A few days before Easter Claire asked Jesus to be in her heart. She had all the knowledge but just didn't know how to accept Christ's gift to her. It was a wonderful thing to pray with her - even though it was way past her bedtime. :) Her favorite subject in school is Bible. She hopes to be a teacher when she grows up and, despite her shyness, even read a book to the younger kids at Moms group this last Monday. She does not like to be the center of attention but will talk and talk if in the right situation. My heart rejoices that she has chosen to let God be in the forefront of her life.

Annabelle accepted Christ at 4 years old and now doesn't really remember. Her mind is full of questions and frustrations. She wants miracles, she wants instant answers to prayers, she demands explanations! I pray she learns, as I did, that God works in his own time and when we trust him and not ourselves we will see his miraculous ways every day.

The latest

2011-04-27T20:53:00.003-05:00

Well - Matt is on a business trip and life seems dull at the moment.

We are ready to be in the house but we wait on inspections, painting and some final patchup work. The painting starts this Friday - we should see some impressive transformations then.

Here's the latest. This time the kids were with me so they are in most pics in some way or another.

Nearly there...

2011-04-22T13:18:00.007-05:00

Kitchen

Entryway - this is where they accidentally put in hardwood floors. I'm glad we had them redo it in tile as originally planned.

The Family/Dining Room - looking in the kitchen. The open door goes into the garage. I can't wait for the new light fixtures and paint in this room. It's going to be totally different.

The Master Bedroom
The basement bathroom shower. It turns out this will only be for the shorter members of our family. It's kindof a funny little shower. But, no mold and it'll have a light on Monday.

The upstairs bathroom. I love this tile! I went to Lowe's and picked it up myself to be sure I got what I wanted. And I'm glad we used the black instead of trying to find little blue tiles. It'll be more versatile this way. We also installed a European vanity - it's so little and cute. Very practical for a little bathroom like this.

We're hoping to get the painting done next week and get ourselves moved in shortly after! We can't afford to have the doors (or windows) painted yet but hopefully that will be a manageable DIY project in the very near future. We are going to have the trim painted white. There are still going to be plenty of "projects" to do, but the big stuff is nearly done and we are super excited.

I'll post some final before and after shots when we are done with the upstairs.

The basement is pretty much the same until the village inspection. And there is no electricity so it is impossible to take pics down there.

Fun with water

2011-04-18T22:58:00.003-05:00

Yes - we're homeless. But, we are not complaining. Our hosts are generous, kind, fun and loving. They have allowed us to take over their home, invade their kitchen and even litter the house with crumbs and dirty socks. We are having so much fun staying with them.

And, their parents have a pretty awesome pool. :) We headed over there on Saturday and the girls swam their hearts out. We hope to make it over there again soon.

A big thank you to Mrs. G.!

Beautiful floors! Knock out that window.

2011-04-15T20:52:00.005-05:00

It was a busy day at our house the last few days.

Here are some pics of the floors.

We can't wait to tear down the horrendous curtains and repaint these rooms.

The basement is small and the ceilings are low but given our lack of funds to do a complete remodel, we are using the space the best way we can. It will be useful and hopefully we can brighten it up with lighting.

We decided to add backyard/porch access through the dining room and today they took out the window and the wall under it. Yahoo!

Before:

After:

They started tiling the upstairs bathroom today and are waiting on some inspections to finish up the basement.

The work on the house continues

2011-04-14T17:13:00.002-05:00

Here are the latest photos!

Bride Katherine

2011-04-14T17:12:00.002-05:00

This will certainly brighten your day!

Moving...

2011-04-14T12:17:00.002-05:00

I need to upload new pictures. The problem is that I am essentially working outside the home now. I do get to bring my 3 year old with me but I don't have my things, my schedule and I feel like I'm driving around a lot more.

I am thankful to be able to continue watching A. while we are between houses but it means coming to his house every day and still working on moving out of our previous home.

Today marks the final day of moving out. All the items that didn't fit in the moving truck have been slowly taken the storage unit. Many items went to the new house to sit on the back porch. And today the piano and large desk went into the garage. The guys doing the construction have been wonderful, planning the construction accordingly and moving so fast!

I'll post some pics tonight if I have the energy to plug in my camera and computer. The hardwood floors are done and the tile gets put in tomorrow!

neighbor craz-o

2011-04-08T12:23:00.003-05:00

We are moving out of this place tomorrow - and it could not come soon enough.

As of this moment, the neighbor is moving her furniture. Again. She moves it almost every 2 days now. It's obvious pounding, scraping of couch legs kindof noise. And today she has kindly placed it right at 12:30, naptime. I guess that is better than her other usual choice of 3 AM.

God give me patience. She has bigger problems than me.

And tonight is our last night here. I can make it.

Moving gifts

2011-04-07T10:00:00.002-05:00

My gifts to myself this move:

175 feet of bubble wrap. This is awesome. No messy hands from newsprint. Totally reusable and everything just looks so pretty in the boxes. This is important to me - apparently. Or at least it keeps me happy.

25 file boxes. Easy assembly, no tape and lids you can take on and off. Wonderful.

Furniture sliders. Okay - we haven't used these yet but I'm hopeful they will make moving a 800 lb. piano around the house easier. I'll keep you updated...

Items purchased from Uline.com

Our house renovations continue

2011-04-06T13:32:00.005-05:00

Oh yeah - you need an update!

Well, the "finds" continue... They discovered some very interesting electrical work yesterday - the wiring for the family room was just strung around the door frame. Totally unsafe and a fire hazard! Also - the floor in their has a pitch of 2 inches. We'll be reframing the sub-floor.

And then today they discovered some DIY framing in the basement bathroom. Someone used 1x2 scrap lumber to "frame" (if you can call it that) the bathroom. It was literally falling down after they pulled out the moldy drywall. Today they will reframe and redo all the plumbing in that bathroom.

But, there is lots of good news - the 2 new rooms are framed out in the basement and the house is looking great!

American Girl Doll - Birthday treat

2011-04-06T13:24:00.003-05:00

Ah yes - 7 years old means American Girl doll in our house. We made a weekend of it and spent 2 nights at a hotel down the street from the store. The weather was cold and windy and the room was small but nobody complained that we were too loud, so it was wonderful!

After spending several hours in the store - we headed out into the mall to open up her new "Kit" doll and try on her new outfit (thanks Coach & Nana!). She also got "Ginger" so Kit would have a pet.

Claire has been super generous about sharing her AG doll with Katherine. She lets Katherine carry it around and play with it. They also played with their fairies and Kit together at the hotel.

Claire is such a beautiful, wonderful child. Our family would be so imcomplete without her. She loves to talk in detail about different events in her life - including how she chooses the right socks for the outfit, why she likes to arrange her dolls a certain way, how she plays with her toys and exactly how she figured out a hard math problem. We work hard to listen to her, give her lots of one-on-one attention (her love language!) and help her rest when she has had too much time with people. She is helpful, generous and patient - and she knows it! I love it that my girls know what their character qualities are. They will tell you what they are good at and why they are important to our family.

Happy Birthday to our special Clairey!

neighbor no see

2011-04-04T11:06:00.002-05:00

So - today I let the landlord know that our neighbor hasn't left the house in 4 days and has been up all night for 3 nights (yes, we've been awake too!). Frankly, we are more worried than irritated. She hasn't even collected her much enjoyed New York Times...

we'll see how this week unfolds...

Neighbor update

2011-04-03T12:53:00.004-05:00

Well, our neighbor has been covered in prayer. It's the only way to survive. She has not slept for 2 days. We have also been awake at night quite a bit listening to her stomping and screaming for hours on end. Matt & I agreed that prayer is our only option. We don't know if she is angry with us or just taking it out on us. It seems something bad is happening in her life and she is very unhappy.

She doesn't know that I sent the kids outside to give her some quiet today - she probably is fuming that they were inside dancing earlier. But, God knows. He knows our hearts and it doesn't matter what she thinks.

Today when Matt left to work on his dissertation he was a little worried for our safety. But, God is in control. I pray that he heals her brokenness and she can find peace.

Oh and only 6 days left. Cause - I'm totally counting!

Our new house - Before Photos 1

2011-04-03T12:47:00.002-05:00

I took some pictures when I went to look at homes:

Matt & the realtor definitely saw more potential than I did. Imagine hardwood floors, new paint, etc. It'll be beautiful!

Our fixer upper - Before photos part 2

2011-04-03T12:38:00.005-05:00

Ah yes. The closing went great. The house is ours. Yay!

The demo. began the very next day.

Sorry - we're not keeping the dark brown linoleum that covers almost the entire house. It'll be replaced with new carpet and hardwood. We also gutted the bathroom completely. (By we - I mean the contractor, of course.) Those pink walls are gone!

How to deal with an angry, aggressive neighbor

2011-03-28T13:27:00.000-05:00

Clear to close

2011-03-28T13:12:00.002-05:00

At last. After a seemingly eternal loan application process we are cleared to close on our new house.

It's not a beautiful home - yet. We will begin the renovations next week!

Now, just to endure our current neighbor situation. It'll all be over soon!

Claire's 7th Birthday Party

2011-03-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

Movie Night

2011-03-10T17:12:00.000-06:00

Moments

2011-03-10T17:06:00.002-06:00

Feeling a bit lonely. Matt's been spending 16 hours a day in downtown Chicago at a conference. My babysitting job has become full time. I also have a new job: applying for a FHA 203K loan.

I find myself checking my email a lot, unable to sit still, pacing and generally restless. I'm drinking a lot of tea. I'm cruising my new favorite blog. I'm cleaning and doing laundry at night and making lunches for the girls at 10:30, not wanting to go to bed by myself.

Today I found joy in a moment of sunshine, happy kids after school and a feeling of Spring in the air. I'm encouraged that this is the last day of my alone-ness. All will be well.

love for my van

2011-03-07T19:17:00.002-06:00

I've been hating my mini-van lately. Just dreading getting into it, buying gas for it and driving it now every day to get the girls from school. I caught myself dreaming of a sedan or even a subaru - anything but this annoying van.

Then the van broke. I drove on it for weeks, enduring jerking starts and unpredictable lurching. I figured it was the cold and it would just go away. But, it could wait no more - I almost hit someone because of the lurching from 1st to 2nd gear. So, we took it to the shop. They couldn't figure it out and were prepared to charge us $200 just for looking. Seriously?

Then, after a lot of prayer on our part, the technician found a service bulletin addressing the very problem our van was having. And it was going to covered under our powertrain warranty. That means free!

And they gave us a rental car. Which would have been nice but it was a Chevy Impala and I often have 4 kids to move around nowadays. Ugh. And - Impala's suck. Big time. I won't go into details. We had it for 4 days. Four long days.

As soon as I got the call from the shop saying my van was done, I got all the kids in the car and went straight to get it. I never missed a van so much. I won't complain anymore. Everyone has a seat, I have somewhere to put my purse again and it actually moves when you press on the gas pedal (no more lurching).

What are we up to?

2011-02-20T21:17:00.003-06:00

Anybody want an update of life around here??

I thought so.

As of this moment: Matt is out in CO helping with the family. His wonderful, steadfast Grandpa became ill fairly suddenly and is in the hospital. He will not be able to return to regular life as we all think of it, again. This is emotional and stressful for everyone. Although I miss Matt tremendously, I am so thankful for his strength and faith and the wonderful support he can provide to his Mom and the family.

The girls and I are doing okay. It is not easy being at home over the extra long weekend with pouring freezing rain and a very angry neighbor. But, God has truly made himself known to me and turned yesterday into a wonderful day and today really was fun too.

I truly felt God had left me on my own after a huge explosion from Annabelle yesterday morning (following a donut treat) which left all of us in tears. But, He came through and all was turned around. I took some deep breaths, and then took the girls over to see the new house (they hadn't seen it yet). I told them to run around like crazy and make a ton of noise! This was extremely soothing for everyone (except maybe the realtor).

I also decided to eliminate sugar for Annabelle for the rest of the weekend. Wow! What a change in her. She seems normal. Not one explosive episode since. She has been upset and even had a timeout. It's not like she turned into some kindof alien-perfecto child. But, she can recover. She can control her emotions. She is happy and more level.

I also eliminated sugar for me. Ouch.

This was an act of empathy. Also I have wanted to do it for a while but have been unable to muster the courage. So, we made a trip to the store for some Stevia (I'm not giving up my coffee too!) and I threw away the donuts. Yep. Threw them right in the trash. I'm noticing some definite headaches and a bit of shakiness. I think I was more hooked on it than I had realized.

On the neighbor/moving front: We put an offer on a house and are waiting for the details of the renovation loan to be worked out. Yep, it's a fixer-upper. It looks kindof like a diner car from the outside and my childhood 1970's era home on the inside. (Good ol' 5th place) But, it has good bones, a great yard, beautiful trees and we can make as much noise as we please!

Prayer is appreciated. We hope to close on April 1 and then they are saying 30 days to do the work needed. Our landlord has agreed to let us out of our lease (!) and we are supposed to be moved by April 15. Where are we staying in between? Hmmm. Your guest room? Ha! God will provide - that I know.

God is so good and so surprising and so faithful. I can hardly sing His praises loudly enough.

Blizzard

2011-02-02T09:49:00.003-06:00

Annabelle is braving the snow.

We won't be going anywhere.

We will be shoveling off our back porch.

They closed Lake shore drive and towed off the hundreds of stranded cars last night.

Some of our neighbors are shoveling. Our landlord said he'd be over to shovel a couple times today. As of 10AM we haven't seen him yet. Not that we need the sidewalks cleared, it's still snowing very heavily and blowing horizontally.

A magical moment

2011-01-26T16:00:00.003-06:00

Came in from chipping away at the sidewalk ice to find Claire reading Katherine Princess are not Quitters. Annabelle is tucked away in her room reading her new library book.

After a few days of crying and stomping and extra-long time-outs, this is a breath of fresh air.

We joke that Wednesdays are the worst day for us. We have an extra long workout for which we get up at 6am, then Matt has a day of meetings and I have absolutely nothing exciting to do and we end with our budget meeting. Today, we added absolutely no sunshine and bitter cold on top. And yet, God provided me with such a fun time with Katherine and little A. today. He provided a nice chat with my neighbors and He has provided this peaceful moment to top it off.

He gets all the glory today.

feeling pushed out

2011-01-07T14:25:00.001-06:00

Our new neighbor cannot stand us.

We are too noisy.

Apparently our kids do gymnastics and acrobatics in the house. Not to mention running and playing at very high volumes. We have been asked to have them stop these activities.

I suppose it would be better if they watched TV and played video games after school.

We'd appreciate prayer as we try handle this maturely and lovingly. It looks like we'll have to move sooner than we thought.

Christmas 2010

2011-01-04T12:35:00.004-06:00

What a lovely Christmas we had this year. It was marked with many good memories. We were so blessed to have my Dad & Janet come visit us and stay for a few days.

Our extended family showered us with gifts and our tree was quite packed when we got ready to open gifts on Christmas Day. We all felt very loved and made sure to notice who each gift was from and wish they were there with us.

We had a great time making tamales together for Christmas dinner. And the guys really liked roasting the peppers over the gas stove. I think that was a highlight for sure! And how can we forget the amazing chocolate torte! Yum.

We concluded their visit with some ice skating - something we can't do with out help. Thanks to Dad & Janet for contributing by ice skating with Anna & Claire and also sitting with whoever needed to rest. It was so much fun!

Here are a couple pics:

I almost forgot to mention the 8 inches of new snow that fell during their visit! We even went sledding. I know the girls loved having Grandpa run down the street pulling their sled! I'm thankful he didn't pass out afterwards.

private school is ON

2010-12-16T17:56:00.004-06:00

God is good! And faithful!

We heard today that our girls are accepted to the private school and we are receiving some financial aid. And thanks to our work with the Dave Ramsey program for the last year, we will be able to finance the difference. We are sacrificing paying off our debt sooner and saving for a house, but it is totally worth it.

Every single day we hear another reason we need to pull the girls out of school. Every single day. Today Anna told me that another boy said the F word to her repeatedly at recess and that kids are flipping each other off in class all the time. I said, "You know what the F word is?!" She explained that someone had told her so she would know when the other kids were using it. Okay - she's 9! Not 15. It breaks my heart that she has to be exposed to this garbage at this point in life. And the recess monitors do NOTHING. They might threaten some kind of punishment but they don't do anything and they do not report to the teachers or principals either. They are unknown persons - I don't know who they are or where they come from.

All this works together for good - Anna doesn't want to go back. She has totally detached herself from this negative environment. Claire is starting to understand what good behavior looks like. But, she is in a relatively safe place so it will be harder for her to leave.

We so appreciate all the prayers and support. God has provided and will continue to work through all the little details.

Merry Christmas!

The SPA birthday party report

2010-12-13T21:49:00.002-06:00

The setting: My home. We cleared out the baby toys and set up our house to be the salon/spa. Matt created a very elaborate computerized display describing the SalonAnnabelle. It was a place to relax, play some fun games and eat cake. The girls all had such a good time.

This picture shows the facial station. We also had a foot bath station for 2 on the couch and a nailpolish station at the table.

How cute it that?! She was hilarious and really had such a fun time helping with all the planning details including shopping and picking out nailpolish colors and then helping with the cleaning and rearranging on the day of. Anna is a born party planner and she and I had a great time doing it together.

She's a Yellow Belt!

2010-12-13T21:47:00.002-06:00

Anna worked hard and learned her first pattern in Taekwon-Do. She tested and earned her yellow belt. We are so proud of her and it's great to see her learn something that requires calm and control.

Way to go!

homemade peanut butter cups

2010-11-16T13:39:00.002-06:00

yummy!

This was a family friendly project that we all enjoyed.

Day off

2010-11-11T08:58:00.004-06:00

It's a day off and surprisingly the two kids having the most fun together are Katherine and Anna. Katherine is "Mommy" and Anna is baby Samantha. It's cute; they are outside (it's warm today!) pushing baby strollers around together. And Claire sits playing Doodle-jump on the ipod. Probably getting the high score again!

I love that my almost 9 year old is having fun playing with my 3 year old. :) Of course it is only 9AM, we'll see what the day holds...

warm and sunny but tired

2010-11-09T14:42:00.004-06:00

A low energy day.

Katherine is suffering the most. She senses I have less to give, less energy to play and wants more, more and more...

Praying for God's grace for my physical limitations today.

Katherine is back in pullups - she must choose to use the potty, she certainly knows how. So today we start a sticker chart and there is a prize at the end. She wants the prize (Furry Frenzy) but I think is scared that she can't succeed. I know she can do it. There aren't that many stickers to do, but it seems huge to her. First she said she'd start on Saturday in a very grumpy voice. Then, she did use the potty once later and she was quite proud of herself. She needs a big success (read poop!) to encourage her to keep doing it. Her stomach is hurting too from holding it in for so long. I'm hoping to avoid a doctor trip and more unpleasantness.

It's Tuesday - which is good, both the girls have after school activities, I can do it.

Oh - our car got keyed. And we are just getting ready to sell it. Why does it happen that way?

Tomorrow will be better, that I know.

It was all her idea

2010-11-06T16:29:00.001-05:00

I mean - she looks cute but Mommy was sad. I saved her curls though...

Things I learned today

2010-11-04T20:29:00.003-05:00

1. If you have dry stuffing mix that has been sitting in the bag, opened, probably since last Thanksgiving - don't try to make it. It tastes like stale dog food.

2. If you put enough cheese on previously mentioned stuffing, kids will eat it.

3. First graders spell "sexy", "sexsee". Just another thing to mention in my meeting with the principal tomorrow.

4. First graders who call their classmates sexy and point to their genitals need to be removed from my daughter's school.

5. Since those previously mentioned first graders probably won't be removed, I would like to remove my child from this place.

6. Humor seems to fade when the Momma cougar unsheaths her claws at the quality of her children's education.

7. Not only does humor fade, but tears come at the thought of my kids being exposed to the world's garbage way too early. And for the kids who don't even understand the things they say, and don't learn how to love and behave because they have no model at home or anywhere.

8. I should not start lists funny and end them sad. Sorry! It's been that kindof day. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

school troubles

2010-11-03T09:35:00.002-05:00

We have had quite a few issues with the school this year. We realize that God is bigger than any of this, and He will protect and be with them wherever they are. We are particularly thankful for this right now as they both are facing challenges. The issues cover all different parts of their education and personal well being.

After much prayer, waiting and discussion, Matt and I decided to apply at an outstanding private Christian school for this year. The school costs about twice as much as schools in Colorado, but half as much as the other private schools in our area. We are being challenged to live by faith and not of ourselves. Only God could provide the resources for them to go there. We await "open doors" in order for this to happen. Our faith is strengthened by the doors that have already been opened.

The girls know that we are waiting on God and not trusting in ourselves or our resources. It is such a good example to them. And not only are we praying through this but they are too.

So, if all the doors open and they are able to attend in the spring, they can be confident that God is in control and has guided them to this new place. It will mean a lot of sacrifices and loss for both of them but they are strangely at peace - even Anna, who really struggles with these big changes. Only God can give her that peace. I am challenged to be more like Anna - trusting, believing and confident in God's plan.

I'm so thankful that Matt & I are united both as a couple and through God as we go through this process. We can see how God has led us to this, by bringing us financial unity and resolve for the first time in our marriage, by our spiritual growth in the last year and by our trust in Him for all our needs. What a change from just a few years ago. God is good!

Halloween 2010

2010-11-03T09:26:00.003-05:00

Halloween was a hit this year! I think everyone enjoyed themselves.

The only snag was that no one knew who Anna was. But, she looked awesome! She was dressed as Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender - Seasons 1 and 2. (why yes.... I did make that costume.)

Claire was a princess. Beautiful as always.

Katherine was the cutest bumblebee ever.

Hot Cocoa - it's windy and cold here!

2010-10-27T13:17:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's just me.

But, did you know that hot cocoa can be made with equal portions of cocoa and sugar? That means that it really isn't easier to buy a packet/mix. Warm up some milk in the microwave, add 1T of each and drink.

The only thing that's missing is: corn syrup solids, dairy product solids, vegetable oil, calcium carbonate and less than 2% of a lot of things that aren't on the food pyramid.

How I survive...

2010-10-22T11:06:00.003-05:00

thanks to Matt for snapping that one.

this is not a joke - Claire grows up.

2010-10-20T12:34:00.003-05:00

Claire has decided to stop wearing skirts and dresses. At least on weekdays. She has explained to me very detailed and carefully why it is easier to wear pants to school.

It's funny to us that this is the same age that Anna decided to stop wearing dresses and skirts to school - but she was less precise about when she would or wouldn't be wearing anything. Claire is now committed to wearing jeans on school days. It just started this week and I found myself scrambling to find all the jeans I had packed away and put in the Salvation Army bag! Luckily I found them and we are determining which ones fit just right for her to be comfortable. She's not used to a defined waistline.

And she is so cute!!

Wedding Day Beauties

2010-10-12T09:38:00.001-05:00

We are so proud to have 3 gorgeous, charming, unique and lovely girls.

And Congratulations to Abbe & Ryan! What a unique and beautiful and FUN wedding!

Cousins

2010-10-12T09:33:00.004-05:00

They are just 2 months apart in age and they had so much fun together!

We stayed in the same hotel and our rooms were across the hall. We propped the doors and let them run back and forth from room to room.

We discovered that not all parents let their 2/3 year old jump on the bed. Sorry guys - but he's just fine!

Missing that little guy already!

A good punishment

2010-09-24T10:28:00.003-05:00

Yes, this is a photo of the girls' punishment.

They were bickering and fighting so they had to hold each others hands for 20 minutes. They ended up giggling and having a great time. Anna is standing in the photo because she really wanted me to get a picture of her behind. I managed to get her before she twirled around.

We had a great time at the Botanic Gardens. We enjoyed seeing the end of the season beauty this time with most of the plants in full size and bloom. It was lovely!

can I go over to my friend's house?

2010-09-20T16:38:00.003-05:00

I've been struggling with what to do when the girls ask to have playdates at houses of kids I don't know. I don't want to let them into someone's home whom I've never met. My parents were really careful about that I still ended up in some strange situations. Thankfully God always protected me and I know that my parents were always praying for my safety.

So, I should not worry too much and I usually do trust my instincts.

Anna was playing with a little girl yesterday and asked me repeatedly about going to her house. I don't know anything about her but I have a rough idea of who her mom is. So, I was considering it.

Then, I was picking the girls up for school today and I saw her mom - completely unsteady and looking a bit delirious. I've seen her before at school and she usually seems fine. I asked another mom what she thought and she said the mom looked completely drunk. As I watched she nearly fell over twice while waiting to pick up her daughter from school. She was unable to walk even nearly straight as they headed towards their car. (!!)

So - I'm sticking with my instincts and I'm grateful that God provided me with a clear answer on this one. And I'm praying for her now. You never know what people are struggling with in their day to day lives.

Last week -

2010-09-07T10:10:00.003-05:00

Thanks to all for wonderful gifts and notes and phone calls. I had a wonderful day! I'm loving my 30's!

Apple Orchard

2010-09-07T09:54:00.001-05:00

We made it up to the Orchard early this year and picked some fabulous Gala & Jonamac apples. I think we may have got a few too many but we had such a blast!

first day of school Aug. 30th 2010

2010-09-02T16:10:00.004-05:00

Ah yes - it has come (and gone now). Everyone got there without a hitch. And Daddy was along too! Did I mention how much we love having him work at home?

And check out my "new" wheels!! I love this stroller.

Our "new little boy" and school starts

2010-09-01T16:42:00.003-05:00

I joke that I'm borrowing a boy since we didn't have one. I'm noticing that boys don't seem to cry so much. At least this little guy is just happy. I think we've sorted out the feeding issues and he is doing great now. And today I think I got his naps worked out, I think.

Mostly I'm really enjoying it. It's hard to be back to 2 naps at home a day again and fitting in feedings, etc. But, it is just so much fun to have him here. It has given my day some structure and schedule which makes me much happier really. And Katherine is enjoying him as a playmate. She is so cute playing with him!

Now we are halfway through the first week of school. There are always emotional issues around here associated with schedule changes. Turns out I'm so mean, I'm not fair and sometimes I am the hated one. Mostly I can handle it - the worst days involve lots of prayer and counting to 200 or more. I think that perhaps Katherine is struggling the most. Having A. is kindof like having a new baby (except he's older) and then her sisters are gone. I've been playing with her a lot more but she's still struggling with attention and is whining and grunting a lot.

I have pictures from the first day of school - they are coming soon!

The end of summer

2010-09-01T16:32:00.003-05:00

We had such a splendid August. Our finances and my new job did not allow us to travel at all. So mostly the girls spent it with the neighbors.

Did I mention what fabulous neighbors we have? The kids are nice, easy to play with and often end up at our house.

We set up an impromptu tea party one day. There was just enough warning to allow everyone time to dress up and for me to pull together some snacks. It was all enjoyed on our back porch.

Katherine wore that dress for 3 days straight.

Another day some kids came over and enjoyed Rocky & Bullwinkle episodes with my kids. It was just too hot to be outside anymore that day. After a little bit of that they all headed outside to play in the sprinkler.

Love it!

A boy friend

2010-08-23T09:53:00.004-05:00

Katherine has found a new friend.

The neighbor boy is going into 5th grade and has been trying to get her to play with him for a while. Today she decided that all this attention was nice and she would talk to him and play with him.

I just watched him walk her across the street, holding hands for safety, to go play at his house with his little sister and my girls. It was so precious and he was just thrilled. It's her first time allowed over there without me. I've been waiting until she was well enough potty trained. She informed me that if she pooped she would have to come back home.

Katherine has a wonderful gift of laughter, cuteness and language beyond her years. Everyone who meets her just falls in love with that. She keeps us all laughing and smiling around here.

The new schedule begins

2010-08-23T09:38:00.003-05:00

Day 1 Watching the baby.

So - I thought he was about 7 months, turns out he's nearly 9.

I'm not sure how to handle the feeding. He does not like to eat. His mom said this is an ongoing issue. He's pretty skinny too. So - he needs to eat. But, he's just not interested. It's like force feeding, which I'm totally not comfortable with.

My kids all loved to eat, they didn't love all the options but they did usually want to eat when they were hungry. I'm hoping his aversion to food is just related to the new surroundings but it is a bit discouraging and I'm insecure enough about my ability to do this anyways.

I'm praying he guzzles his bottle after nap, but I know that breastfed babies really struggle with bottles so... He is happy though and takes great naps. He is a cute little guy and the girls just adore having him here.

I'm sure it will get easier as the days go by.

Katherine's Party

2010-08-13T12:35:00.004-05:00

Katherine loves being with other kids. She is so cute that everyone likes her. She has made friends with all the kids in the neighborhood and they really take care of her. So, I didn't really have any kids her own age to invite to her party but it was just perfect for her. We got a "jump-o-lene" and everyone took turns jumping in it with her.

The heat was intense, the mosquitos were fierce but everyone had a ton of fun.

Katherine's Birthday Day 1

2010-08-13T12:26:00.004-05:00

We had to split Katherine's birthday up this year due to Anna & Claire being so sick on the actual day plus pouring rain all day.

But, Katherine still had a great day and was ecstatic about all the decorations and special treatment that day. She loved to hear us sing Happy Birthday. We sang it many many times that day including before cake and after.

We had planned strawberry cupcakes but we had to move the party to Friday so we took her out to the local bakery and let her pick out a little cake to have on Wednesday. Anna and Claire were well enough for the dinner hour to sing and share cake with her.

school over the summer

2010-08-05T18:46:00.002-05:00

Why is it when I sit down to do school work with the kids they whine, cry and throw things? (Okay, just one of them does *all* of that.)

When Matt sits down with them they just love it. They enjoy doing the school work, they work hard and do a great job.

Go Dad!

lots of rain

2010-08-03T17:37:00.003-05:00

and it's beautiful around here.

and humid.

and warm.

and there are a gazillion bugs. I get a new mosquito bite every time I go outside.

But today the kids had a great time outside with water from the hose, some chalk and some crazy fun neighbor kids.

And the only treatment for grumpluenza that I know of is takeout.

The "medicine" is on its way.

Mom would like a day off

2010-08-03T09:52:00.002-05:00

So I'm not sick. Not really. I am seriously living on the wrong side of the bed today though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (yes, that happens a lot around here) so... could I just have a day off?

A friend suggested wearing an "Out of Order" sign on these kind of days. Anytime someone comes to me with a whine, problem, fight or question I could refer to the sign.

I suppose it really is like being sick. It's an emotion kind of sickness. Grumpluenza.

Introducing....

2010-08-01T15:31:00.002-05:00

Annabelle

VBS, the end

2010-07-30T13:39:00.002-05:00

Okay. A long week. A fun week.

Katherine was very sick for a few days and stayed home (thanks Matt). Those happened to be my days teaching.

I enjoyed the week. I loved getting to know other moms/teachers and seeing these kids learn about God.

The concluding show is tonight. I always get tears in my eyes watching these little ones sing. As mine get older I see things differently. I now KNOW that they don't stay little forever. It's no longer just a cute saying.

Oh - and I'm glad the week is over. The kids and I are exhausted!

VBS, what the teacher thinks

2010-07-27T15:08:00.003-05:00

Vacation Bible School.

Remember that? Lots of kids running around singing about Jesus?

This year I'm helping in a classroom again. And this year I care about the kids more than ever. I've always just sort of put up with the kids, tried to keep them calm and really found myself intimidated by them.

God has changed me. I care about them. I care about their hearts, their futures, and who they are as people.

I want to encourage them and teach them. These are new feelings for me with a group of kids I don't know. I've always felt that way about my own kids but usually I don't care much for other people's kids. I mean, they are cute and fine but I wasn't really compassionate towards them.

So - for the first time I find VBS to be fun. I want to have fun with them and impact their lives. Wow God. He gets all the praise on this.

Note: it is day 2. check back in at the end. :)

Dad Post: Slowing my pace for the little sick kiddo

2010-07-27T09:48:00.005-05:00

Nothing is a better reminder of the franticness of life than a morning with a sick child. Katherine is sick, and Angie and the girls are out this morning. So I'm home taking care of her. My mind keeps running through the checklist of "real work" that I need to get done, but the little one sleeping on the couch is a living plea to slow things down for the day.

She feels yucky. She's running a moderate fever, and has thrown up once this morning already. She is so under the weather that she doesn't even want to watch Dora the Explorer (and TV is a rare treat around here.)

Angie's parting advice this morning was to just coddle Katherine. So I sat with her on the couch for three-quarters of an hour and watched her drift off to sleep, a forced slowing of my usual frantic morning routine.

For several minutes she tossed about. Then the tossing slowed and she settled into one position and stared at the ceiling. Her feet swayed back and forth for a while, then they, too seemed to find a comfortable position. Like little butterflies, her eyelids fluttered open and closed -- rapidly at first, but as the minutes ticked by, they remained closed longer than they remained open. Her fingers twisted and untwisted the corners of her "special blankie," the now-tattered crocheted blanket hand made by her Grammy. When the busy hands finally went limp, I knew Katherine was asleep.

After carefully extracting myself from the couch, I did my best to silently accomplish a few chores. Only with a slow and deliberate pace could I get these done without waking Katherine. With only a few things done I sat down to write this. Now, as I glance up mid-paragraph, I'm noticing Katherine is not asleep anymore. She's staring at me across the room. I'm giving her little smiles, which she is weakly returning. It's time for me to head back over to the couch and watch the minute hand tick away as I absorb what it means to be a father.

trojan eats my pc

2010-07-24T20:00:00.002-05:00

got a virus.

first ever.

ugh.

Luckily I'm married to a computer guy and I'm a recovering computer girl. So, it's all fixed.

And I got a mac.

no more viruses for me.

To pee and not to poop

2010-07-24T19:53:00.004-05:00

I imagine that all my readers (yes - you 3 know who you are) are checking here daily to hear more about potty training. TV can wait, crying kids can wait, how is that girl managing with the potty anyways?!

So, it is interesting. Katherine is not one to do things my way. She decided that going pee in the potty was a good idea. (She has been slightly motivated with Swedish Fish) So, she goes. She has not had any accidents since she decided that. Now pooping is something different. She thinks that if she holds it long enough it'll just go away. And if she has a little she can just wipe it off and no one will notice.

Not notice?! On your dress? On the floor? On yourself??

I'll just say that I have managed to hold it together. Matt has managed to hold it together (he is way more squeamish than me). And Katherine has managed to let it out once a week.

We are just a few weeks away from Miralax. I am a bit nervous about what that'll do though.

There, you've been updated. Hooray.

a stay at home job

2010-07-13T14:56:00.003-05:00

I have prayed all year for a way to help get us out of debt.

I have also pleaded with God that it please not involve me leaving my kids with someone else.

I may complain at times about my girls - but my heart is here, my purpose is here. I am fulfilled being a mom.

God answered.

We'll be welcoming a baby into our home. Not ours, but someone elses. A little boy, 7 months, cute and extremely active (think crawling at 5 months, pulling up and standing by 6).

I am scared but excited. Here is a perfect answer to my prayer. The way I connected with this family could only be a God-thing. I am full of doubts, but God says I'll do great, that he has planned this out for me.

Now I pray for strength and patience.

you can't make me

2010-07-12T22:08:00.003-05:00

Yes, she's nearly 3 years old. Just a few more weeks really.

She knows how to use the potty. But, she will only do it if she wants to.

The last few weeks have been a test. What will Mommy do if I don't use the potty, will she be mad or not?

I've not been mad. I've been sweet, literally. Sweets are awarded for success and nothing happens for going on the floor, or on the rug, or in your shoes, or on the front porch.

And tonight she actually woke up to go pee. This is a big step for us.

Could we be nearly done? I won't hold my breath.

I've got to go wash the days "spoils".

A new start - again. :)

2010-07-12T17:13:00.003-05:00

3 months off.

Every so often I have things I want to say - we'll see how it goes to drop them here again.

moving on

2010-04-02T13:27:00.001-05:00

A note to say, you won't find me here much.

I feel the need to keep to myself, for my own health and sanity.

I hope to connect with those who matter the most in other ways - hopefully face to face, but if not that then email or phone.

I think I'll leave the blog here for a while.

Claire is 6! (party pictures)

2010-03-23T12:54:00.005-05:00

Claire is a gem, a true sweetheart and has blossomed so much the last few months. She had her biggest party yet (7 friends) and had such a wonderful time. She was just glowing the whole time and was fine with being in charge too!
She picked to have a "Dress Up Party". So, we had jewelry, clothes, a little makeup, colored hair extension and the never-to-be-forgotten Feather Boas!

The girls are getting ready. We are putting in the hair, choosing outfits (if needed) and so on. The little girl in pants and a shirt just was not a girly girl at all - I felt kindof bad for her...

They are laughing at something funny Anna said. The only fighting we had at the party was during lunch - they fought about who could tell their story.
I just loved these girls.

He not only presented Claire with the cake, he decorated it! Thanks to his parents for all those calligraphy lessons. Way to go Daddy!

Claire led a game of freeze dance. This has always been the girl's favorite party game. Which is good because I never plan any games! I had one craft for them to do and that was plenty.

Claire received a beautiful handmade apron and hat. She just loves it! And she has been sharing all her birthday presents so well. She has such a generous heart.

And then we have the cleanup. The whole house looked just like this rug. It took hours to vacuum them all up. I will be finding these feathers for years I'm sure. But, they were so much fun!! And each girl got to take one home. I am officially recommending Shindigz.com for party supplies.

rest

2010-03-09T08:02:00.003-06:00

I'm taking lots of time for reflection and thought lately.

Our home seems very peaceful.

The parenting small group we are leading has been very helpful and motivational to Matt & I. My Moms group has been instrumental in convicting and changing me. God is over it all - directing, guiding and everpresent.

I hope your day is filled with peace.

May the Lord bless you and keep you - may his face shine down upon you.

And you should definitely watch this talk by Donald Miller. Does life seem meaningless and boring? His solution will surely challenge you as it has me!

warmth

2010-03-03T16:54:00.001-06:00

The weather is changing - at last.

It's cold, it's icy. But, it just feels different.

My internet was out last night and all day today - what a blessing, really. I had time to rearrange, clean house and meditate.

I'm happy to not have my computer?? Okay, then.

Header change

2010-02-28T16:31:00.004-06:00

I thought I'd fill the header with some pictures from warmer times - okay it was pretty much 100 degrees while we were in Kansas - but it was totally worth it to be with family and relax together. Some of the pictures are from camping, another of Anna on the train platform before 4th of July. Good memories, all of them!

I actually saw signs of Spring at church today. There are daffodils and irises coming up! I am not kidding. I think my mood has improved about 200x. Yesterday I laughed for the first time in many days, it was very nice.

Bloggin at meatless butcher

2010-02-25T13:44:00.002-06:00

I'm having fun with my new blog.

So, here's a link to my latest post about dinner complaining.

Dissertation is going!

2010-02-24T12:08:00.003-06:00

Oh - yes, you read that right. Matt is making real, actual, measurable progress on his dissertation.

I won't attempt to fill in any details because I'm sure to get them wrong. But, I know that he is polishing his 30 some page proposal and should be handing that in soon. Then, the real writing will begin.

This is such a huge accomplishment for Matt.

His new job is so much less stressful and he has energy to put into his reading and writing. He is happier and calmer and focused. I am so proud of him, I think he should get a prize just for getting to this point. :)

Thanks to all who pray for him, he is finding clarity of mind, time and motivation!

(And I think I've gotten him to agree to never dress up as little red riding hood again.)

winter winter stinker

2010-02-24T11:59:00.003-06:00

I just cannot shake this winter blechiness.

Matt says spring is coming. I'm not sure. I mean, it should come, but fresh snow is falling and my hands are cold. And the funk has settled on me bigtime.

Birds are chirping though. And I have yet to see one just fall out of the tree 'cause he can't take it anymore. So - I'll be okay.