Bring me to my knees

I did pretty much ask for it.

I didn't want to take my life for granted.  I wanted God to be present and for Him to write the story each and every day.  I didn't realize that I would have to be brought to my knees with an invisible force in order for Him to get in and get working.

The last several weeks have been truly hard.  And truly filled with blessings.

We put our house on the market in faith.  I saw a situation that I could not carefully plan out ahead of time, but that I would have to rely on God to coordinate.  I am a total planner, details are essential to my peace of mind.  But, in this case, I could do nothing but wait.  I could do some reasearch and think about what I *might* do but no actual planning can happen when we don't know if or when our house will sell.

So, Matt began his job in Colorado. We continued showing our house about 3 times a day.  Then the showings stopped.  My Mom came to town.  I worried and experienced that face-to-the-ground sensation daily.  God is in control.  He has a better plan than I can even imagine.  He doesn't need to follow our "rules."  I wish it had been more comfortable to rest there.  I was so ashamed of myself and how hard it was to rely on Him 100%.

That weekend, the one of zero showings after our price drop, that was when Matt & I both felt we were just totally drained.  The uncertainty was too much to bear.  That weekend, God showed up to do things his way.

Katherine's sunday school teacher that week was a summer volunteer - only serves a few times over the whole summer.  She heard Katherine talking about moving to Colorado and stopped me after class.  She mentioned that she is an interior designer and wanted to use her gifts as a ministry to me.  To me?  Seriously?  She had never seen my house.  For all she knew, it could already be a gorgeous mansion (not joking, you should come to our area!).  But, God knew.  He knew that my living room has never quite come together.

BEFORE

She came the next day and spent many hours with me. My Mom watched the kids so I could focus on the house.  My new friend transformed my house.  It is beautiful.

AFTER

We got a call for a showing on Monday while we were redecorating. We hurried up and finished just in time. Then after that showing, another showing by the same people.  As I drove my Mom to the airport, I prayed.  I prayed for God's will.  I prayed for my faith to grow.

A few days later, they made an offer.  Someone else also made an offer.  We find ourselves under contract and with a closing date that lines up perfectly with school.

Now, as we work out final details, find a house in Colorado and decide about schooling - I keep coming back to God's faithfulness.  I have no need to worry - no need to try and figure out all the details.  He's already worked it out.  I'm going to rest there.

Trust, Faith and Moving

Well, the update is...  there is no update.

Okay - there sortof is, the house is on the market.  We are coming up on 2 weeks.  We've had 15 showings and no takers.  Seriously?  And my house is looking pretty darn fine.

We are looking at homes in Colorado but really can't do much until our house sells.

So, we wait.

The main thing I'm noticing is, I don't like waiting. This is a major strain for me.  I have no idea why it is so hard, except that I love to plan.  I love to plan out my days, weeks, months. At this point, I can't plan much.  I don't know our moving date, I don't know which town we will move to, and I really can't see how it will all work out.

I find myself filled with fear.  I was greatly encouraged by a blog post from Elizabeth Curry.  While she was blogging about fear related to parenting an adopted child, the feelings I'm having are very similar.  And the solution is to trust God.  Not to just trust him a little, but to trust him FULLY.  I believe the true faith-filled response would be to have no worry and to continue on knowing that he will guide your steps and make your paths straight.

Wow - is that hard.

And I fail at it nearly every day - even though I can think of numerous examples in my own life where God has been present.  Plus, I can find an infinite numbers of examples in other's lives where God was present.

I hear my mother's voice, "What's the worst thing that can happen?"  Um, we could be homeless?  Not really.  We could lose a lot of money?  Happened before, never looked back.  We could struggle with relying on God?  Yep.  And we need that struggle to rely on him more fully than before.

Amen to that!

On another note:  Why is my realtor calling my house a "Pottery Barn Gem?"

You decide.